The pride of youth

Since I have turned 40, I have noticed that there have been some real changes in my life:

1. I wear sunscreen on my face each and every day.

2.  I feel guilty about eating a donut or any other goody composed primarily of refined sugar.

3.  I am so happy when I can eat something tasty with veggies!

4. I shelled out $67 for a bra last week!  LMM could NOT understand how I could justify spending that much money.  I told her that she doesn't understand what it's like to have breasts that are sagging and the need for a strong bra to hold them up.  She also does not know what it's like to have flab on your back and the desire to not have your bra cutting into your flab making it look bigger.  I told her that to have a bra that does all of these things with straps that stay up is well worth it!

5. I'm finally wearing my seatbelt, and I take less risks on the road.

6. Increasingly, I'm very cognizant of some advice my Grandma gave me: "If you don't use it, you lose it."  So, I am more motivated to try to exercise every day.  I want to be old and still able to hike, swim, and run.

7.  I accept limitations in relationships more.  I don't try as hard to make the relationships in my life look and feel the way I think they should.

8. I have finally realized how emotionally constipated I am.  I used to think that I was very connected to my emotions since I am a "spewer" rather than a "stuffer".  However, I have come to realize that what I am spewing about is rarely about what I am truly upset about.  

9. I don't feel guilty that I am not everyone's friend and not everyone likes me.  However, I shouldn't try to be disagreeably unlikeable.  I guess that can be good or bad.

10.  When I was younger and more newly married, I kind of prided myself that I would never forgive my husband if he ever did this or that.  After spending the last 18 years with my best friend who has gone through so much with me, I no longer pride myself on my toughness not to forgive him.  I pride myself on the commitment and love we have shared.

Things I wish I would mature in:

1. Being more aware that death is rapidly approaching, and I need to worship and do the work God has called me to do while I'm still here.

2. Being able to "fake" it better when I am upset, but my showing my anger is not going help anything.  Yes, not getting upset in the first place is the best, but I would just be happy to have more discipline in keeping my anger and my annoyance to myself.

3. Putting my things away!!

4. Taking more risks.

Well, I'm sure there is more, but it's time to go to bed.