Her piano teacher has had 3 children who have already gone through the high school days, so she knows how it is. When Katherine told her piano teacher that she was going to be in the band, her teacher told her that she would lose Kath to the band because she would no longer have time for piano with all of the time that goes into school and band. Kath was/is determined though that she is going to finish the last set of piano books before she stops taking piano altogether.
She had planned to continue with her piano lessons, but after being in school for the last two weeks, she finally came to the realization (with my prodding) that she simply doesn't have time to practice piano these days, and it's one more stress she doesn't need as she becomes acclamated to high school. I told Katherine that it is a waste of our money and her and her teacher's time if she can't practice.
Finally, Kath came up with the idea that maybe she could take a sabatical from it for the fall semester while there are band practices every school morning, every Tuesday afternoon, and games on Fridays. She thinks she can fit it in this spring, though. She asked if I would ask Mrs. W (piano teacher) if that would be okay.
When I talked to Mrs. W about it, she said, "Well, why don't we bring Tobias on in her place." I told her that I wasa thinking the same thing, but I didn't want to have more than 3 children taking piano at one time, so Tobias would have to take a sabatical in the spring when Kath starts back up again.
Mrs. W said, "I know Kath has the best intentions, but I can predict that she still won't have time in the spring either. There will be band concerts, solo and ensemble competitions, school work, and many other activities that will consume her time, but she just doesn't know that yet."
Mrs. W went onto say, "Once they get into high school, they really have left the nest. You just hope and pray that you did a good enough job, and then let them do their thing, and hope that the mistakes they make won't be too big."
I couldn't believe it. A flood of tears came to my eyes. I have been thinking that, too, subconsciously, but hadn't really let myself acknowledge it lately. I've been kind of numb with losing Fr. J's family and my daughter in a way in the last few weeks.
My visit with Mrs. W was supposed to be quick as I was on my way out to pick up Kath from school, and here we were having this very personal, emotional conversation.
She said, "You really should congratulate yourself. You've done a great job with Kath, and I don't see her going off and really rebelling. Your kids are all very even-keeled and seem to have good heads on their shoulders."
That was so nice to hear from someone who has been working with my kids for the past six years. I've made some huge mistakes along the way that I truly wish I could go back and change, but thanks to God's loving grace and provision, they are doing better than I would have imagined.
During the first days of school, Katherine was constantly going over everything she was bringing to school and would ask me if there was anything she was possibly forgetting. Finally, I told her that she should write down a checklist of everything she knows she needs each day and then go through it each morning.
Last night, I peeked in her room to ask her something, and I noticed something on her wall. It was a printed out list of what she needs each day, for "A" days and for "B" days. She had also nailed a small dry erase board on her wall (she had acted like she so urgently needed that, that I thought it was for a class!). On the board, she is writing all of her homework assignments that need to be done so she doesn't forget.
I tell you, that girl has goals! It is very gratifying to see that she still listens to my suggestions and wants my opinions as she decides what to do in various situations.
Stuart and I are no longer directing her and leading her as much, but instead we are moving into a role where we will walk along side of her, guide her, and support her. I guess we'll be releasing her more and more as the days go by.
Andja's 10. I've enjoyed thinking that I had 8 more years with this one -- you have not cheered me up by reducing it to 4 more years! But she'll be awesome. I think of these stories of the old days where people had to take on adult roles at young ages... like my grandmother, whose parents died so she dropped out of 4th grade to become head of household for her four younger siblings... or like Elder Porphyrios, heading out at the wise old age of 7 to make his way in the world... When I think of those stories and look at Andja, I think she'd be ok. But still, four years is going to go by so quickly!
ReplyDeleteHey Kori! I wish we were still living near you. I miss those parenting conversations we used to have. At least, I think we used to have them.
ReplyDeleteI can get a little sad when I think of how we only have 3 more years with Ian. Maybe he'll go to UM and we'll be able to see him fairly often, though.
Another thought as I read. . .A friend who homeschooled and then put her daughter in the public school said her daughter initially had trouble with the line between "helping" other kids with their assignments and cheating. Ian is maybe more used to that; he does help kids, in fact he was sort of assigned a group of kids to shepherd along in one class last year, but when a kid wants to copy his homework or know what was on a test that he took an earlier hour, he doesn't share. Katherine has a good head on her shoulders and will know the difference, but it is something that happens at school that you might be aware of.
I also wanted to encourage you that maybe Katherine will continue with the piano later, esp. if she is pretty determined and makes that a goal. Ian never quit his piano lessons, and he is in grade 10 and in hs band as well. Of course, he was in the lowest band (no marching) last year, but he's moved up one level this year and is doing some marching. I certainly mentioned the possibility of his dropping the piano when he picked up clarinet lessons, but he wanted to continue, so now he has to practice both his clarinet and the piano. I suppose he would make more progress on an instrument if he had just one, but he enjoys 2 and is not going to be a music major anyway. :-)