How do you feel?

A couple of weeks ago, my youngest child posed a pretty profound question.  He asked if I thought people felt very differently.  I asked him to elaborate.  He said something like, "I wonder if I put who I am in another person's body, if I would feel very differently.  Would my life be kind of similar to how it is now or would it be completely different."

"You mean, you wonder how different life would feel if you were in a tall kid's body or if you were in the body of someone who has autism or in someone's body who is really athletic?"  He said that was exactly what he meant.  I told him it would probably vary according to what the difference was.  He said he just wondered if all people pretty much have the same amount of happiness and sadness in their lives.

This question of his has truly filled my mind with wonderment for the past few weeks.  I look at people of all shapes, colors, and ages and I wonder.  I wonder what my son was wondering.  Are our life experiences pretty much the same or are they radically different?

One time a friend of mine was telling me that we all feel the same depth of emotion regardless of what is going on in our lives.  I believe the example she used was that a middle-class housewife might become besides herself with frustration that her carpets need to be replaced, but she knows they can't afford it.  At the same time, a woman from a low socio-economic background might feel the same level of frustration that there are drug dealers who hang out near her apartment who threaten her security.  Clearly, the person from the poorer neighborhood has more reason to be upset, but the middle-class woman will work herself up into just as much of a tizzy.  My friend said that is how we are wired:  to have our ups and our downs no matter what the circumstances are that we find ourselves in.

She makes an interesting point, and I think of her point whenever I am experiencing a "first world problem"...like the anger that I feel when I try to login to my gmail account, but it won't let me until I put in the code they send to my cell phone, forcing me to track down my cell phone....EVEN THOUGH I have checked the box that says to trust this computer and don't verify it again!!!  So maddening!!  Look at me:  I'm getting frustrated just writing about it. ;) It is at those times sometimes that I think about the people in Tanzania who Stuart told me about.  After traveling there this past year, he said that most Tanzanians access to technologies is comparable to the technology most Americans had at their disposal in the early 1900s (except that curiously most Tanzanians have a cell phone! with good service!).  They work out in the fields doing manual labor all day, and me?  I'm sitting on my bottom getting sooooo angry about something as piddly as a password.  And to hear Stuart tell it, the Tanzanians are much more at peace than most Americans.  So, we're back to the same question:  Would my life feel completely different if my soul was in a Tanzanian body...in Tanzania?

Just living my life thus far, I can safely say that my 33-year-old self lived a very different life than my 44-year-old self is now living.  Having babies whose lives were so dependent on me filled me with thick anxiety every day for years.  I had trouble going to sleep, and when I did sleep, I would dream of things like my babies crawling to a 2nd story window and falling out, dying.   This was a reoccurring dream. (My daughter recently told me about a dream she had where there was a DNA storage facility where you could pick up whatever DNA you needed to heal anyone who was injured or who had died...while according to my son, this doesn't make any biological sense, I loved her optimism.  I hope she keeps dreaming that. :) I was sleep deprived, and my cortisol levels never could seem to catch up.  To this day, there are mornings when I forget that I'm not 33 any more, and I wake up feeling like a ball of nerves with my heart racing and my neck throbbing.  I have to remind myself that my youngest is 12 years old now, and while I feel beyond grateful, it takes my body awhile to accept this truth.  These days, I get plenty of sleep and my life feels pretty manageable.  Thank God my kids are all okay, and my nerve endings have healed a great deal.  It's a completely different life where I can actually enjoy going on a date with my husband!

If the life I'm experiencing today is very different from the one I experienced years ago, surely the life experience of one person to another are very different, as well, considering most of us are at different stages.  The question remains, though, about the whole of a person's life.  In regards to life experiences, people's lives clearly are different and must feel very different, but in regards to emotions...over the long haul, do most people experience the same amount of joy and sadness over their lifetimes?

I believe they probably do.  As I've thought about it, I believe that somehow, the amount of celebrations and trials for most people probably even out with each other.  For some people like Bill Clinton, their peaks and valleys probably have more contrasts...one day being elected POTUS, the next day possibly being impeached.  But, I think the joy and sorrow he feels probably isn't that much different than the next person.

What I do believe strongly is that our ability to have faith in God and His goodness is the game changer for people's life experiences.  We are all going have good things and bad things happen to us, and we will all feel the normal joy and sadness with that.  However, the people who are convinced of God's goodness in their lives are able to walk through the valleys of life with a quiet contentment which gives them strength.  This quiet contentment makes all of the difference in taking someone's life to a different level of experience that many of us would like to arrive at, but it is the road less traveled.

"The joy of the Lord is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

² He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

³ He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

⁵ Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23