Criticism

22 Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 23 "Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets. 24 "But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. 25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. 26 Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.

I guess no one particularly enjoys criticism, but some people do seem to deal with it better than others.  I do okay with criticism when I think I deserve the criticism, but when I have worked really hard in a certain area, and someone criticizes that area, I don't take it well.  For instance, the other day I was criticized for not putting things away.  I accept that.  I know I'm ba-a-a-a-a-d about that.  Today, someone implied that I tend to be late to things, and they were surprised I would be upset if my child was late to something.  I didn't take that criticism well even though I'm not naturally a punctual person.  The thing is, ever since I've had kids, I have been very committed to getting  them to their activities on time and to picking them up on time.  I die a million deaths if I ever make them late, or worse yet, if they are one of the last kids to be picked up.  When it comes to my kids, I want them to have the security of being on time and knowing that I will be on time to pick them up.  Maybe I come across as being laid back, but this is one area that is extremely important to me.  I also work hard not to make other people wait on me. So, this particular criticism stung.  I mentioned the criticism to my husband, and he said, "Well, you're on time for anything pertaining to the kids and their activities, but you don't care that much about being late to social things or things that involve you personally.  So, you can't expect other people to see that distinction."  Ahhh, he knows me so well.  He's right, and it was such a comfort to have him acknowledge the truth about me.

I'm not being insulted for Christ's sake, so the above verses don't directly apply to the criticism I received, but even so, they kept running through my mind.  They were reminding me that I am being quite a baby if I'm going to let a small, petty criticism like this bring me down so much when so many saints, and Christ himself, have suffered much more unjust criticism.  A friend was pointing out to me the other day that Christ received more unjust criticism than probably any other person in the Bible.  He was constantly being criticized and misunderstood.  If my Lord received this kind of criticism when He only deserved praise, then certainly, I should be able to deal with a criticism that is even partially true which I guess I do partially deserve!  Also, it's probably good for my soul to be unjustly criticized from time to time.  It reminds me that God knows the full truth about me, and it is His view of me that counts.  ;)

I remember the priest at our church once saying that out of humility, we shouldn't try to defend ourselves.  We should let God defend us.  However, if we see someone else being wrongly or unjustly accused or criticized, we should step up.  We should be more concerned about others' honor than our own.  I loved the nobility in that.

Another idea that floats around in my head when I'm criticized is how my husband says something to the effect that most people probably don't see us for the sinners we actually are.  They don't see the depth of our anger, resentment, or our other sins that we harbor and battle with.  Most likely, in all honesty, people, even critical people, probably see me in a more positive light than they should...like when they say, "I can't imagine you ever getting mad."  Ha-Ha!  Therefore, I should be glad when people don't actually see me as better than I am.  It's liberating, in a way.  But if someone sees me as much better than I  actually am, I'm sure to disappoint them.

In watching people around me who are good at taking criticism, one thing I note is that they have a strong sense of who they are and what they think.  I remember feeling so upset for my daughter one time when a friend of hers told her she would never even consider going to the school my daughter went to because it was too old, ghetto, and was academically poor.  My daughter seemed completely unaffected by these comments.  Later, I asked her how she felt about her friend's comments.  She said, "I don't care.  Why should I?  She's never even been to my school, so she doesn't know that.  She tends to make lots of wrong assumptions."  That's basically what another veteran teacher friend of mine told me once when a parent insulted something my class had worked hours on.  She basically said that people just say stuff and a lot of people say stuff without thinking.  They don't know the whole situation.  And I say stuff when I don't know the whole situation, too!

So criticism.  I need to be willing to take it as my Lord did.  I need to not be so defensive for my own honor, and let God humble me or elevate me as He sees fit.  Finally, I need to be able to let things roll off when they are not true and be secure in what I know to be true.