I don't like new people.

Awhile back, some visitors came to check out our school in hopes of their child eventually attending. This is a perfectly beneficial, important action for any parent to take if they are interested in our school.  I, in fact, did the same thing eight years ago.  When Katherine and I visited, I will never forget the kindness of the other moms who worked there.  Still, whenever I hear we're going to have a visitor, especially someone who is going to visit my class, I'm not real thrilled about it.  I feel nervous about their judgments.

I try to tell myself to just teach like I normally do, and if the parents are not impressed or happy, it's better they know what they would be getting ahead of time.  I try to tell myself that my teaching alone is probably not going to make or break their decision.  I try to tell myself that most parents will look at the school as a whole, and we have a great school, so I shouldn't sweat it.  Finally, I try to tell myself that I do have my strengths as a teacher.  All of this talking to myself doesn't really help.  I'm just relieved when it's over.

Anyway, after that long Monday when we had visitors on campus, Stuart asked me how my day went, I curtly told him we had new people visit the school that day, and I don't like new people.

He challenged, "Oh c'mon!  That's not nice, and that's not true.  You don't even know the new people, so how could you say you don't like them."  

"I just feel very uncomfortable with new people.  I don't know where they are coming from," I explained.

 "Well, that's somewhat understandable.  Why don't you just say that?  That's so much better than just saying you don't like them," he said.

That's my babe.  He keeps me honest and calls me on my stuff.  

I so wish I was like my mom and my daughter who delight in meeting new people.  They see new people as new possibilities for friendships, connections, and excitement.  I, on the other hand, tend to see new people as potential problems.  Again, I do try to put myself in new people's shoes.  I know how hard it is to be new.  So, even though I have a crummy attitude about new people, I sometimes FORCE myself to talk new people, especially new people who are alone, looking awkward.  I'm usually glad when I do.  I just wish I authentically had a good attitude on the inside.  

Well, later, I found out the visiting child would indeed be enrolling in my class, and I felt this sense of dread creep in.  I instantly started worrying about whether my teaching would be acceptable for this new family.  What if they had all sorts of suggestions for my teaching?  I tried to be strong and look on the bright side that even if the family wasn't happy with my teaching, maybe they could give me helpful feedback.  Maybe the suggestions would be beneficial.  I needed to keep an open mind.  However, I also felt worried about what a new student would mean to the dynamics of the class.  Another worry I had was that I perceived this family as being braniackish, and even though I already have braniacs in my class who seem to be learning just fine, and even though I have many close friends and family who are "gifted", my stinkin' thinkin' kept me from seeing the possibility that maybe this new family might be a positive addition or that I might actually like these new people.

I was wrong.  I do like them. A lot!  In fact, I'm honestly pretty shocked about how happy I am that they joined our school community. 

I feel like "Sam-I-am, I do not like green and ham" except for it's, 

"Kori-I-am, I do not like these new people."  

(okay that didn't rhyme or really work, but you get the point.)  

Then, God whispers, "Try them, give them a chance, and you may. 

Try them, and you may,  I say."  

And just like Sam-I-am, I find myself replying, 

"I do so like 

these new people!  

Thank you!  Thank you! 

Kori-I-am."

And God and Stuart say, "See."