The author, Gretchen Rubin, extensively researched the topic of happiness and what people throughout the ages have said about happiness. With her research in mind, she came up with a list of personal resolutions about what she thought would make her happier. It wasn't that she was particularly unhappy, but she seemed to feel concerned that she was just busy going through the motions in life. Each month, she focused on one set of resolutions and wrote about her experiences. One of her resolutions had to do with de-cluttering. I told Stuart that having a de-cluttered, clean space doesn't really make me feel happier, and I wouldn't include that in my personal resolutions. (BTW, Stuart would definitely put de-cluttering on his happiness list, so I need to make an effort in that area.) Stuart asked what types of things I thought made me feel happier.
I would say one activity which brings me joy and makes me feel more alive is engaging in written expression, others' written expressions as well as my own. I enjoy reading journals, biographies, letters, articles, etc. Thinking about this made me decide to write in my blog again. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to do it, but there are quite a few times when I feel like what I want to post in Facebook is too much, too personal, or too long for that platform.
I'm not sure why writing is so important to me, but I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I will never forget a situation that happened during my first year of teaching. I was a special ed teacher, and certain students would come to my room for extra help throughout the day. I don't remember what exactly happened with one of my fourth grade students, but she, we'll call her Tonya, apparently had gotten into trouble with her regular ed teacher. The regular ed teacher who was a fast-moving, no nonsense kind of teacher, flagged me down as I walked down the hall and told me she wanted to show me something. She pulled out a letter that Tonya had written apologizing for what she had done, explaining why she had done, and telling why she didn't think she should be punished.
She had written a whole page. I felt so proud of Tonya because first of all, I knew writing wasn't necessarily easy for her. Secondly, Tonya always seemed to me to be someone who kept things bottled up, and her anger tended to come out in little, inappropriate flashes at unexpected times. I was so happy to see that she was actually trying to deal with the situation through communicating her viewpoint. The regular ed teacher, however, was livid.
She said she couldn't believe that Tonya had written this letter and that she should have just come and talked to her about it if she had such a problem with it. I said that maybe Tonya felt nervous about talking to her about it and felt like this was a safer way to approach the situation. The other teacher was becoming more frustrated and said that this wasn't the first letter Tonya had written her and that she has some major emotional problems if she doesn't know how to just approach someone and talk to them verbally about a concern. At that point, I remember feeling kind of worried about myself and what it says about me that there are many times when I would prefer to write something to communicate with someone rather than speak directly to them.
I didn't say anything else to the other teacher about the situation with Tonya. It seemed fruitless. I was a first year teacher. What did I know? Plus, I have a feeling her frustration with Tonya went deeper than her irritation about the letter(s) and there was more water under the bridge. Maybe she felt like Tonya was trying to manipulate her. I'm not sure. At the same time, I don't think she understood how important writing is for some people. I'm not sure, but I think if I was confronted with a situation like this today, I might have tried to point out to the other teacher more about the positive aspects of Tonya's letter writing. I might have identified myself as someone who finds writing helpful in addressing situations. But maybe she would have just written me off as another person with emotional problems.
Throughout the years, I have thought about this teacher's dismissive attitude towards the use of writing as a way of addressing a situation. Over time, I have realized there are people who appreciate it, and others who feel annoyed by it. Some people view it as a waste of time, and if they view it that way, it is foolish to try to write them an email or letter. It won't be received well, and it won't work. There is also the concern that written words can more concretely be used against you, and they sometimes aren't understood in the right context since body language isn't there to help further the communication. Yes, sometimes, for a plethora of reasons, the best way to deal with a situation is to meet with the person and talk to them directly. However, it never hurts for someone like me, someone who likes to write, to go ahead and write down some thoughts beforehand. Some would say it's a waste of time, but I would say it is what eventually brings me clarity.
Writing for me is a comfort and a joy.
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